not a great way to end october...

end of october 2011..
i cried again..
while driving from kajang to jelebu for work..
for nearly one hour..

mum fell sick..
it broke my heart when i saw her condition..
she was always the strongest woman in my life..
now she is the weakest..

my monday was the bluest ever..
my mind was all about her while i was working..
after work, i rushed back to see her..
helped her in the kitchen although i was exhausted due to long hour crying+driving+working..
she is always frowning..
i tried every way to make her smile..
talking to her, trying to make funny jokes although my heart is aching..

on tuesday
i brought her to see doctor..
and another heart-breaking news crushed her heart..
my cousin's husband, whom we were quite closed to, chose to end his life
leaving his wife and children behind..
i saw mum crying deeply.. which had never occurred in front of me..
i felt even heartache looking at her crying..
i could only hold her shoulder tight..
every time she read the newspaper, she would tear..
at the end, she asked me to keep the papers away..
she couldnt stand the pain anymore..

now her health is blinking red light..
the strongest woman in my life fell sick...
i hope i can be the best daughter at this moment..
mummy, u must stay strong!
must get well soon!!
we always support u and love u...